I was not sure what to title this post because it was a rather short and strange experience I had this morning. But all I can say it had something to do with God, and it is worth jotting down this memory. This experience took place just as I woke up this morning (24th June) at around 7:30 am. The 2nd one was asleep beside me, and suddenly I had this thought – this thought that God is holding everything in my life. I don’t know why this thought came, because I felt by now, I would have once again fallen into despair and temptations since it’s been already close to two weeks since my reconciliation with Him. But this thought just came, that the fact I am still holding on, I am still keeping the faith, I am still trying my best to pray and keep some semblance of a prayer routine is testament that God is holding me. My Father is “keeping it together” and sustaining me in ways I admit I just dont understand.
And yet, in the midst of all my anxieties, worries, especially about career and potentially some financial matters, I just can feel an unexplainable presence from Him. That He’s got it covered. That He will take care of things – even though I truly do not know the future, He will sort it out. And I can trust Him on this, be it my career, my future family plans to move, or my finances. I can trust him.
Anyway just thought I quickly blog this down before I lose this memory. Again just a short reflection, nothing mind-blowingly philosophical or earth-shattering. Just a simple “touch” from Him this morning.
P/s – ironically this morning as I was unloading the dishwasher, I was tuning in to Fr Redhill’s homily on the recent Sunday reading of not being afraid and it that homily, he narrated a story about birds, how he didn’t see Blue Jays and Cardinals while he was at a retreat in Florida but he saw all other kinds of birds. And just as he was having this thought, a bluejay flew past and its wing hit him in the head and it perched up a few feet away from him beside a… Cardinal! Fr Redhill mused how God is closer to us than we think He is, that even before we can finish our thought he knows what we are thinking and He already has a response to us.
I guess I found some comfort from that. Perhaps this is His way of reassuring me He too is nearer to me, and is closer to me.
