Twenty twenty-one will soon be ending in less than an hour. I realized I didn’t get to blog much in 2021 – or rather as much as I would have liked. When I looked back at 2021, I look back with mixed feelings – 2021 was a very mixed feeling year for me if I could some it up. To say things were bad would not be correct because when things were bad in 2021, they did take a turn for the better ; though not all the way better.
We started off in 2021 with much hope and anticipation – even though my project had taken abit of a pause towards the end of 2020, there was still some optimism within me – I had just gotten promoted and so was reeling off from that feeling while at the same time just “taking it easy”. Taking it easy though was not meant to be as on the home front I started off the year with shingles! As if that wasn’t bad enough, in February just around the time of CNY, we discovered that after months of charting the Wifey’s pregnancy and taking blood tests, that her readings were not right. The fertility doctor we were visiting advised us to follow up with an endocrinologist which landed us in an MRI Scan as the specialist suspected that there could be a tumour growing in wifey’s brain. Needless to say, looking back 10-11 months back, at that episode, we were petrified, to say the least. Thankfully that too was resolved.
I think having to endure all these health issues at home took some introspection on my part – learning how to be a good husband specifically was something I picked up a lot this year. I am far from perfect believe me, but I do feel I have grown as a person – especially how to care for your spouse. Something I wished my own dad had thought me, at least in deed and action. Nevertheless, it was a painful discovery but an important one for me as a person.
Workwise too was challenging to say the least. But in that, I not only learnt how to manage and be comfortable with things that I wasn’t comfortable with but also to just change my perspective on things. Granted when I look back at my efforts at work, and now that my project has been completed, I have to say I do have a clearer picture of what my goals should be in 2022. More importantly, through the experiences that I have endured in 2021, I kinda unexpectedly rediscovered what I thought was important in my career – what gave me purpose, motivation, and desire – something which I have long buried in these tumultuous 2 years as I was managing my career and navigating my way. I will write more about this maybe another time as I am still processing and trying to make meaning out of my rediscovered purpose.
In short, I am glad 2021 is finally finishing. December 2021 was particularly one of those times in my life I wouldn’t want to remember much. From just finishing my inaugural grueling project to being informed by the client that my allotted project has been canned and finally being thrown to manage deferred items which were beyond my doing and my control (and in the process managing disgruntled angry clients) left me feeling burnt out to the point I almost sank into depression 1-2 weeks back. It also gave light to my life on what’s important to me. It allowed me to see what mattered most. It was so bad having to work every day to cover your supervisor who is on leave for a few weeks to the point I even lost sight of the most important thing in my life – the birth of my savior and lord – that was when it hit me that this is really bad.
I am glad 2021 is coming to a close, and I hope, i certainly am praying and hoping that 2022 will be a much happier note for my family – especially that God would bless us with another child which we are all waiting for expectantly and that new opportunities would open up for me to move on with my career and rediscover my love and passion for Organization Change once again.
Goodbye 2021 – thank you for the memories, and thank you for making and breaking me all in one year, but most important of all, for making me a little bit wiser this year.
