The curtains had finally come to a close as I stepped down from my leadership position which I assumed over 2 years ago. As I look back and I reflect I recount how different I have grown, not so much as a leader but more so as a person. When I first assumed the position I thought I had all the right stuff – the qualities and skills essential to become a leader. I thought I had the vision and the mental stamina to lead my church organization into a new era. But everything came like a 1-2- sucker punch which didn’t prepare me at all and sadly because of that I couldn’t respond as effectively as I had hoped to do. Nevertheless in all this doomsday gloom feeling, in which many days I would often be hard on myself and look upon myself with disdain, I also learnt things which I would have otherwise never have learnt elsewhere ; namely that even though I might think of myself as being a successful person in leading and grooming people, God wanted to remind me that He is still in charge, and in life, humility and humbleness is required. That was a big lesson learnt for me.
The other thing I learnt also in my 2 year stint in as a leader is to depend more on God’s grace – not just when things get tough, but when things are also good because it’s so easy to give in to temptation, to ease off the acceleration peddle and just lapse into cruise mode and in the process forget God, and even about your own role as a leader. Throughout my 2 years, I had to endure a lot of difficult moments, make difficult decisions and bear the consequences if the decision didn’t pan out as well. But that’s the responsibility of being a leader. You are accountable despite what people tell you otherwise. All decisions are accountable to the leader, whether favourable or not.
In conclusion, as I conclude my reflection on this, I guess even though it may appear that things may have been gloomy as a leader for me, I do believe though that God has used this opportunity to draw me closer to Him. I have spoken before about being a fool for christ, but it’s one thing to think you are, and its another thing to know that you really are. I believe God did use this opportunity to shape me further as a more matured leader. And I also believe that if God planned to put me through all this, I am sure He will definitely also see me through all this, and He certainly did.
