This continues on with the ongoing series which I started last month.
July 2015 would be an interesting month in my life. I wrote extensively about how I was leaving the consulting world and would be taking up a “dream role” in a prominent bank as Head of Org Design – even just thinking about it now, 6 years later gives me a shiver in a spine – not in a bad sense, but in the sense that I had once gotten such a coveted role. But alas, we all know it was not to last long. The abject politicking that went on was too toxic for me till I had no choice but to tender my resignation by the end of February, the following year.
What one would regard as unfortunate and tragic, to me, in the midst of all my hurt and pain, the hand of God was there to steer me. While I won’t go into the details of what happened since it’s already well-chronicled (add link), I would want to recount the faithfulness of God during this period.
By December of 2015, I was already feeling miserable with my job. I had fallen out with my boss (never has that ever happened before) and things were going south. I was a pawn in a game of choice between my boss and the big boss. And so, while once I thought I would never have to leave this cushion comfy bank job, I became desperate and started sourcing for options. One of them was actually to consider moving down to SG to be with the wifey.
And so I tried to connect with my razor-thin network in Singapore. I knew a partner whom I had worked with 2 years back in 2014 and I was hoping she would have an opening for me in SG as an MC consultant (my former role basically).
I even went as far as reaching out to another SG colleague to just do some “homework” and assess the market to see if it even was feasible. He was encouraging and told me to just connect with the partner and so I did.
But to my sadness, the partner was candid in telling me that the labor laws and foreign work regulations in SG had tightened and the government was concentrating on prioritising jobs for the locals over foreign talent. As such, it would be difficult to get me a job in SG. This was around the time just after Christmas and so you could imagine 2016 starting with a whimper of sorts. My partner ended off by saying “get your PR and we can discuss again” and that would not happen so soon in any case since we were not married yet
Meanwhile, work became more political and toxic. I dreaded going to work and just going through the whole grind. It was absolutely demoralizing for me and as the days went by, my soul grew wearier and wearier.
It was also around this time whenever i would visit wifey in SG during our weekend visits, we would make it a point to attend the novena service in the Risen Christ church on Saturday mornings. I used to find much peace and hope in placing my trust in Our Lady, totally not knowing what would happen or what would be the next game plan but just committing the plans to her. Our prayer would be along the lines of asking our Lady to just guide us in our future, for my job, and for our marriage.
On the physical homefront ground, despite the partner leaving me with little hope, I still looked out for other jobs and I managed to land an interview with Boeing – unfortunately, I didn’t land that interview and in fact, that whole time had been a difficult time for me as I was just recovering from a sinus surgery the week before and so I wanted to push myself to use the week that I was recuperating to actually prepare for my Boeing interview. This happened around April of 2016 just around after the Easter season.
With the Boeing interview landing me nowhere, the doors down to SG were closing fast I felt. I was getting desperate, but at the same time, I was also eager to put an end to my misery at the Bank. I would spend weekdays during lunch, not with getting to know my colleagues, but with the Lord at the Cathedral, because “I had nowhere to go”. Every day I poured my heart to the Lord, reading the gospels, trying to anchor my heart on the subject of the gospel, but my worries and anxieties would often get the better of me.
Finally, on the last working day of May 2016, I left the bank. It was a bittersweet feeling because I felt I could have offered more and what’s more, I was going to leave without a job at hand, which greatly distressed my dad. “You are going to get married in 5 months and without a job, let’s hope you find something” my dad would often tell me on the phone. I understood my father’s concern, but little did I know that my Heavenly Father had something greater in store for me.
I started the month of June writing 2 exams for my MBA. I figured while I had the “free time” being in between jobs, might as well just use the time wisely to clear my papers (which is what I did). Little did I know June would also be the turning point of events for me.
The partner whom I spoke to back in January sent me a message to ask me if I was keen to still explore an opportunity in Singapore! I was shell shocked and stunned and I replied YES! The next few days were filled with a flurry of activities in which I quickly did up my resume and sent it over and towards the end of the month,I found myself on a plane to attend an “interview” with the partner and another senior manager.
I still remember how giddy I was with excitement and also with some anxiety (as always). I chose to stay at the Bugis Village Hotel at Bugis since it would be near for me to just take the train to Raffles City. I also had a pleasant surprise of discovering there was a church nearby the hotel and I promptly attended daily mass at Our Lady of Lourdes (OLOL – would continue to be a special church for me because of these events)
I still remember while being at mass, I got a call from another consulting firm that I had also applied for a job at. I was surprised to get the call and I figured while I was still in SG the next day and my interview with my partner would only be the next day in the afternoon, why not just slot in this interview in the morning as well.
And so I did and I went for the interview in the morning and my other interview in the afternoon. While I didn’t hear the response I wanted from both companies (believe it or not), I felt a heavy heart as I returned home that evening. I thought I had given my best but now it was just put to God to do the rest.
I would not hear back from both the companies and i remember the agonizing July period of just waiting to hear back from the companies. While I went for the 2nd round interview with the other consulting firm, my heart was dead set on joining my former company in SG.
Those waiting periods were difficult for me. I felt God had once again abandoned me and I was going to be let down by God. Throughout this period I recall just reflecting on the gospel where the disciples were in the storm and Christ was coming towards them. It was Peter who had the courage to say Lord if it’s you, bid me to come to you in which Our Lord responded with the simple word “come”.
I found myself deeply drawn to that scene because on one hand I really wanted to climb out of that boat but on the other hand, I didn’t know if the Lord would let me drown, I was too afraid of the storms and afraid I would drown.
The rest of course is history and is documented – I finally did get the job offer and pretty soon, towards the end of July, I found myself making another trip to SG, this time to settle my LTVP but also to discuss with wifey on my plans to move down and find a location to start our marital life. I recall leaving that evening going (probably it was just a day trip for me) heading to our future location, Potong Pasir, and just “checking out the scene” before taking the train back to Changi Airport to fly back to KL.
I moved down to Singapore officially on the 29th of August 2016, which was a Monday. It was definitely a surreal experience to restart life in a new country but I was really and truly thankful for the Lord opening and making ways in His own time, rather than on my time. As one of my mentors’ once quipped to me – Our Lord’s timing is always perfect, regardless of what we may think of it.
