The playing field has been levelled

Whenever I return back to Penang for a short break, I always have this habit of checking out my school magazine.  I would look and re-look at the old school class photos and glance through my peers and yes, I would also glance at a nerdy looking picture of myself.

I would often think of my failures back in school and questions which challenged my tenacity and intelligence would pierce my conscience.

Why didn’t you work hard back then? Why were you always in a lower grade class at compared to your peers? Why didn’t you take academics seriously back in school?

I thought for the longest time I would be destined for mediocrity. It’s not that I didn’t work hard, but I didn’t work hard enough to get the grades. I would often fall short by just a couple of points to getting “promoted” to a better class. It used to frustrate me for the longest time, and there was a point in my life, I thought I would just be resigned to the fact that this was all I could achieve in school. And I felt small compared to the guys who were in the best classes. No way did I ever think that I would ever be as competitive as them.

Fast forward more than a decade now, and I am still looking through those class photos. I turn to look at the peers who were in the 1^st class. I smile to myself.

The playing field has now been levelled.

What I mean by this is I no longer feel less adequate than these guys who once dominated the academic arenas in my school. Soon after high school, I am glad I realized that I had the potential in me all along, and I wasted no time in ensuring I apply myself to the fullest in college and university. I applied myself and I got the grades I desired.

Good grades and a high achievement in university meant my transcripts looked good and it led to more doors being opened. I could finally afford to demand and carve out my own career. I had the opportunity to choose which company I desired to join.

Of course, the rest is history.

Just a couple of weeks back, I bumped into my ex-school mates. One of them was a real smart student. He was a “first-class” boy with a renegade attitude. He seemed unfazed to meet me and so was I. To me, perhaps once upon a time people like him used to be the “kings” of the school. They used to have it all – the brains – the athletic abilities – the bright future – as compared to me.  I smiled to myself after that unexpected bump. This time around, I didn’t feel the inadequacy I once felt when I compared myself to these guys back in school.

I felt we were equals, if not me being better than them in my own career and life. My exposure abroad gave me a significantly distinctive advantage in broadening my perspectives and building my confidence. I felt I was ready to take on the world, and ever since then, I have always maintained my high-self esteem.

Indeed, the playing field has already been levelled.