As I stood in in line today to wait for my turn for Confession, I asked the Holy Spirit to guide me through all the less-than-good things I had done over the course of the last couple of weeks. The irony is I don’t usually do this as I often make a mental note of the sins I plan on confessing (no it’s not a planned confession, it’s a more…organised confession I guess :P) . I don’t know what made me ask the Holy Spirit this time around…
Anyway the whole “jolt” came when I was in the confessional booth. As I had finished declaring my sins and waiting for my retribution, the priest suddenly asked me “what had compelled you to come for confession today?”
WHAT??
Here I was hoping for a “sin no more, go your way” routine from the padre, and he actually turned to ask me that question. Man I was so not ready for it, and I didn’t know what to honestly say. My mind hurriedly skimmed through whatever I knew about confession – give the priest the textbook answer
“I guess I don’t really want to be seperated from God, I realise how important he is in my life and I really need Him..” I chocked up a meek reply as I look squarely at the hardwood below me, with my hands clasped together hoping Padre would be satisfied with my answer.
“And when did you last feel God’s love for you?” came back the reply.
By now I was done fighting with myself ; the urge to give textbook answers just disintergrated. I didn’t like giving textbook answers anyway.
“Since my last confession Fr.” I replied humbly with my head low, feeling ashamed of myself that in just a couple of weeks I had forgotten about our Lord’s great love.
“Well then….” Padre continued. “I want you to remember that feeling you had, that love you had for God and I want you to hold on to it, and remember it and ask God to give you the grace to love Him again”.
I swore the weight of my shoulders flew up as soon as he said those words! I don’t know why but I felt so much as peace. As he gave me the absolution, I felt my chains being lifted. And more importantly, I slowly began feeling God’s love in me.
I guess wonderful and miraculous things do happen when you ask the Holy Spirit for guidance! He gives you more than you can ask for! This is certainly a confession to remember!!
