2 days ago I got an email from a friend of mine informing a bunch of us that she had arrived safely in Philadelphia. A couple of days before that, we were celebrating her farewell party. It was perhaps the last time some of us were going to see her. A few days before the farewell party, I had a private lunch with her and she told me the whole story about how she’s been waiting for this exact moment for the last 2 years and it finally came through.
I sat down and listened attentively, as she narrated the whole story about how this whole getting a work visa for the US took place. Occasionally I would nod my head, sometimes let out an affirming smile to acknowledge and share her joy. She attributed it a lot to God; sharing with me on how God had a purpose for her over these 1-2 years as she reflected on why she was here, and why God had wanted her to be here, and not with her now-fiance in the US. She concluded that God had wanted to strengthen her faith that God wanted to show her that she can rely on Him, that He is as REAL as ever. I nodded when she suggested this and I affirmed her as I knew that the pattern God was working with my friend was somewhat similar to mine when I had my conversion experience more than 3 years ago.
For sure it strengthened her faith, I remember meeting her the first day she joined our youth group and on the last day when we celebrated her farewell. She definitely has become closer to God, and that’s something that puts a smile on my face and gives me some comfort. Seeing people touched by God and having being rewarded for their faith and commitment to Him is just a testimony to me that He is still in charge of things.
However in the midst of all this happiness and suddenness, I felt saddened and I started to be a little dejected. No, it wasn’t so much that I was going to miss my friend, but rather I wondered
When will my turn come?
I have a few friends like this who have come back home for a while and later returned back to either Canada or the US. And I know some who are also in the ‘preparation’ phase; getting ready to leave. I am one of them who fall in this category.
But sometimes, I sincerely do wonder when my turn is going to come. Not that it’s not being planned out or anything like that, in fact the timeline has already been defined and is currently ‘on schedule’.
But I guess what’s bugging me is not so much whether or not I wish I could get the chance to go back, rather it’s more on ‘how long more to wait?’
To be honest I am sometimes bummed out. Just waiting and waiting, counting the months and the days, to just return back to Canada and resume my academic pursuits. But sometimes it get tiring, sometimes I feel uninspired and demotivated. Not because of the money and the cost involved, rather sometimes I feel ‘is it worth waiting for it?’ .
I have put so ‘Stop signs’ on a couple of things in my life, primarily in getting involved in a relationship and settling down in a proper fashion. I mean there are days I think ‘ahh to heck with it, I might as well just start living life properly!’
