Throughout the years I have often written at great lengths about my mother and even occasionally about my siblings. But rarely did I ever write about my dad. Maybe that’s because we were never THAT close to begin with and most memories of my dad have often been mixed with unpleasantness most of of the time. It’s not to say that my dad was/is a bad person – in fact compared to most average fathers out there, I have to say my dad is definitely one of the better ones. While some fathers make their children sign bonds and loans on their behalf or abandon them at a critical stage of their lives, my dad stood through the test of times, although perhaps we as children used to expect more from him, he still nevertheless stood by us. And I guess all this changed after mum passed away.
I have never written much about this but I have to admit that mum’s departure really forced a new lease of life on Dad. He realized know that as a parent, he would need to see to our lives. I really sometimes call this a twist in fate – why? Because like I said, my dad was never much around in the earlier parts of my life (which I would later come to realize why) – school and academic affairs during my childhood days were predominantly handled by my mum. Mum took charge of most of the domestic affairs while dad…dad was just there to provide for the family. I can’t recall much of me having quality time with my father although I do remember dad stepping in to enrol me for college…perhaps that was the only time Dad was involved with my education affairs. That and the fact he had to see to my university education…primarily my fees. Dad really didn’t know what I studied in; I remember when friends would visit he would ask me in front of people “what is it that you are studying again?”
But a father he definitely is and was. As I mentioned, when mum passed away Dad now realized he needed to see to the 3 of us. Not to say we were small kids or anything ; all 3 of us were already working and were into our mid life. But there were other things in life we still needed to see to (i.e. marriage and settling down) and I will always remember Dad now taking a more active role in seeing to these matters, so much so every potential suitor he introduced would always be met with disapproval from my siblings and I. I didn’t realize it back then but I do realize it now, that it must have been hard – your own children keep rejecting everything that you try to do and help them.
Dad was also good at using his hands to repair and fix stuff. From the installation of showers in the bathroom to fixing lights and electronic items such as VCRs or radios, Dad was always known as a handy man in the house. Even today, as a young adult I marvel at my dad’s skills, wishing and sometimes being envious that I had his skills to fix some of the appliances in my own home. His gift to fix things was actually a blessing for us for it allowed us as a family to save on money and not unnecessarily hire contractors to do the job.
I also cherished those rare father-son moments in which dad sought my help to fix stuff for him. Just like him, I was (and still am) known for fixing IT stuff, like your computers, internet, printers so whenever Dad bought a new device, I would often help to fix it or at times help him to print stuff. Apart from just IT hardware, dad often sought my advise for other things like software and these days smartphones and tablet PCs. I still remember Dad being so fascinated with Google Earth he would call me and my mum to the computer to show us our house in Penang. “Can you see it?” my dad would ask grinningly – I would like to think that he was just amazed at the evolution of technology.
If there’s anything I have learnt from my dad, true he may not have been the most suave person, the most sophisticated and wise father one could ask, but he was (and is always) there for his kids. These days, at 62, whenever I visit my dad, I sometimes forget he is my dad for sometimes my siblings and I get treated like we are grandkids, forgetting he is our dad. But as our dad, he still does check on us, finding out what’s going on (although just like how he was with my education, dad is still trying to understand what I do for a living) and just reminiscing with us on the times we had. These days after lunching with him, dad will often play old home videos of us growing up. Part of me believes he knows his time is coming to an end soon and he wants to make the best of time he currently has with his children.
So here’s to my dad on his 63rd birthday. I love you dad! Despite everything we have gone through, you are a good man…
