“The Thelogy of the Body was written by JPII (John Paul II)” my friend quipped in as I took a seat in the back row. I had already missed the morning session which covered a couple of areas. The session I was attending now was on ….
“WHAT?!” I shot back, not believing what I had just heard seconds ago.
“JP II, our pope was the one behind TOB?”
The catholic church DID write something on SEX afterall! And it wasn’t some Bishop in America or a Cardinal in Australia. The POPE wrote about sex! He was the brainchild behind Theology of the Body!
Understanding and coming to terms with that information had already set the agenda for me. I was intrigued and eager to hear what the Holy Father had to say about sex. And it wasn’t just about sex, TOB covered a whole bunch of other things that were often major issues when it came to living my faith to the fullest – porn, self-stimulated sex, homosexuality, marriage, celebacy, birth control etc.
It was a major eye opener for me, and when I heard the Holy Father had delivered his TOB messages during his “Wednesday Audiance” session for 5 years, between 1979 and 1984 it just blew me off. The primary reason being that why on earth would the pope, hardly just 1-2 years after being in his pontificate position would spend the next 5 years delivering this message? Surely His Holiness knew the direction of the youth, (he afterall spent alot of his time with youths) the struggles the youth faced, the REAL challenges that the youth were coming to grapple with.
I earlier mentioned that meeting up with my church buddies after so long would be a homecoming for me? Well guess what? THIS was my REAL home coming! The Catholic Church had written and documented something on the body and sexuality and it has been in our time for the last 20 plus years!
Why didn’t anyone bring this up to the church diocesean level? In my 20+ years as a catholic, religiously going for mass every Sunday, I had never once heard about the Thelology of the Body by any priest. Oh I did hear about some priests talk about sex, but it was often in light of the liturgy of the Word for that weekend. (1 Cor 6: 19-20) St Paul’s Body as temples message was the closest thing I had ever heard a priest talk about when it came to discussing about sex. Porn, masturbation, homosexuality were never openly preached about from the pulpit. Sad isn’t it?
But nevermind the past, now I had come to know a very important work – the Theology of the Body. And the main reason why I was so impacted on it was because the areas it focused on. These were the VERY areas that were obstructing my faith! I always had a problem with sexual sin (it’s every man’s battle whether we want to admit it or not!) and for years I have always had the humble and sincere intention of turning away from this root-of-all-evil-in-my-life thorn. If there was one thing Satan was good at holding me down and crumbling my faith, it would not be so much of mass-skipping, or doubting God in difficult and stressful moments, rather his leash over me was sexual sin. And no amounts of prayer, fasting, Joshua Harris-Jack Hayford books could help in countering this deadly problem of mine.
You could imagine my delight in learning about sexuality from a Catholic perspective. (And to think the Catholic Church was all rooted in tradition and filled with grey-haired silver priests and monks who were more interested in living in their pent up closed-door churches than dealing with the realities of the world, especially those concerning the youth?) It was a real blessing for me. TOB helped me understand the deeper meaning of sex, how it relates to God, the sacredness of the marriage covenant, how birth control prevents God from being in control of our bodies and ultimately denying His creation by denying life itself. TOB showed me how beautiful and sacred sex really is, and how it should be guarded and protected. Here’s the pope my friends, not some fundemental christian pastor, but the Head of the Catholic Church himself explaining these things and opening our minds to the purpose of the body and our sexuality.
Note : I will talk about the TOB later in depth in another entry some other time.
When you come across such beautiful literature, written by the Catholic church, you can’t help but marvel at it and appall on things like porn, homosexuality and masturbation. It just leaves you no room for such worldly nonsense, flirt and garbage! When you have received the truth, it sets you free, and in my case, it really did precisely that. For the first time, I felt liberated from the bondage of sexual sin. I understood what sex really was, not just from a ecumenical christian viewpoint, but from a Catholic viewpoint, and this was something really important and personal to me. I will admit it was sometimes hard to go to church and yet find my self contiously sinning in the same area and yet not receive any hope and guidance from the church. And no, resisting the temptation by not looking and so on were not real guidance, what I was looking for is an explaination on sex from a Catholic perspective, and the TOB perfectly nailed those Catholic sex-related questions for me.
But the most interesting part about this whole experience is what transformed me following the TOB conference. As I said, it opened my eyes, and I felt that now, since the Catholic Church has finally answered most of my deepest and personal heartfelt challenges, I felt compelled to learn more about the Church. Not to say I had never done this and I was embarking on this knowledge quest for the first time. But I felt what I knew last time was just the mere surface. TOB somehow inspired me to look further into the Church, because I believe the Catholic Church is the one true church, the problem was I didn’t know how to explain it or why I stood behind my beliefs. And so, I decided to study more on the Catholic Church.
Along with my persuit to study the Catholic Church’s doctrines and teachings, I have integreted my prayer life, and my entire way of life to the faith. Mum’s death taught and my experience over the last couple of years taught me something very deep and fundamentally important : This life is finite, our next one is going to be infinte, and if we’re going to be with Him in infinity, we ought to learn more about Him.
The choices sometimes we make in life sometimes make us look as though we are immortals; that we’re never going to die. The choices we make here on earth makes it look as though that all that there is to life is just here on earth and we must make every best use of it. People forget that there’s another life after death, that life, in the spiritual world is infinity. We’ll no longer be given choices, or be allowed to make mistakes and then come to realization that we were wrong etc. in the spiritual world.
I realized that in state of focusing on earthly materials, things that we won’t even be able to take once we depart from this world, (yeah including our sex drive and our desired spouses/girlfriends/boyfriends etc.), why not focus on what’s coming ahead? We’re so privilleged in a way that we know who’s going to be there at the other life waiting for us. God himself, Jesus and the Holy Spirit accompanied by the angels and the saints, and we’re going to spend an INFINITE time with them.
And that’s why I crave for mass every day. That’s why I read books that talk about MY catholic faith, books that explain about the church. THat’s why I meditate on the rosary, and read the teachings on the catholic church. It’s not because I want to sound like some bigot self-righteous-holier-than-thou Christian. (Although I do want to be part of the apologetics that helps people clear the misconceptions of the catholic teachings and faith). It’s because I know that there are more important things to life than career progression, a big nice fancy car, partying hard with your colleagues, and falling in love with someone. The most important thing in life is to love the lord your god with all your heart, mind and soul.
Mother Theresa once said “Fall in love with Jesus everyday…and everything will fall into place”
It’s odd that I would call this a conversion story, but in a way it is for me. My first one occured when I was in Canada. Losing my cellphone that day made me realize that there is a God. Losing my mum and fully understanding the true meaning of the body and sexuality made me realize that there is more to life than just earthly things, and that if I want to cling on close to Him, I should never, ever, ever abandon the Church, instead I should learn as much as I can about my chruch and its teachings.
It’s funny how I was so reluctant to go for that conference. Had I not gone… I wonder if I would still be the same person I am today.
wow – now u make me wanna check out this TOB too!!! sounds like something i need to understand as well. 😉 thank u for the sharing, it was great!