The second footprint

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I sat in the meeting room perplexed trying to maintain my composure and make sense of the sketch in the whiteboard. The project plan was flashed across in the screen. I blinked a few times and asked more questions. Some of the people around me looked just as dazed as I was while the leader was trying to make his point and do his best to explain. A whiff of helplessness swept my mind and my body. I felt afraid.

****

He was frustrated. He felt like he was doing a dead-end job, with no prospect for the future. He lamented as I sat down quietly listening to him, playing with my food, my thoughts visualising what he was actually going through. I offered some meek suggestions but I myself knew they were just that – meek and weak. He knew it too. So I pondered, not on what to say that would make him feel better, but rather on how sometimes life can be. He felt helpless, and maybe he didn’t feel fear, but I am sure there was whiff of despair in him.

***

She was troubled. She came to see me at our scheduled meeting. She managed to keep her composure but I have worked long enough with her to detect when she is distressed. Today was one of those days. She was worried what would happen to her work as her project was undergoing some organisational changes. She worried about her job and all the work she had done. I listened and assured her things would be fine – she would be alright. She felt fear and she was afraid.

***

Today I encountered fear in 3 different scenarios. As I packed my bag and headed home I wondered whether this fear is even real? Like what are we truly afraid of? I thought about it for a moment and my mind slipped back to my own fears, not just at wok, but it metastasized into other areas of my life. That whiff I felt in the morning became more of a reality.

How was I supposed to cope with all this? Am I even the right person for the job?  I pondered all this questions with a heavy heart as I took Drew out for a walk soon after reaching home. As I started to boot up my laptop and set my workspace up I saw something on my table.

The bible. God’s word. Right there on my table just as I was about to plunge into my misery and try to overcome my fear on my own I had a Jesus moment right there. It’s as though I felt God telling me – “relax, I am here, you’re not alone, one step at a time”

I managed to complete some of my work. But there was something even more that I learnt. That God is really there, no matter how bleak the situation may be, no matter how difficult the circumstances might be faced, God is there.

It reminds me of that poem/story – Footprints in the sand:

One night I dreamed a dream. I was walking along the beach with my Lord. Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to me and one to my Lord.

When the last scene of my life shot before me I looked back at the footprints in the sand. There was only one set of footprints. I realized that this was at the lowest and saddest times of my life. This always bothered me and I questioned the Lord about my dilemma.

“Lord, You told me when I decided to follow You, You would walk and talk with me all the way. But I’m aware that during the most troublesome times of my life there is only one set of footprints. I just don’t understand why, when I need You most, You leave me.”

He whispered, “My precious child, I love you and will never leave you, never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you.

 

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