“You seem like someone who will be a good dad”
That was a statement I used to hear over and over again during my 20s with comments like these coming from people in my youth ministry, especially young mothers who were part of the community. I used to sometimes think that its their way of flattering me and getting me to do some what work them which involved taking up some responsibility like guiding some of our younger members or newbies or even just helping them out with their baby stuff. But yes, secretly I did wonder whether I would really be a good dad one day…and if was what type of dad would I be?
Wifey often says I am Cashew (yes that’s the name we have given our little one)’s hero. Let that thought sink in. I am my kid’s hero. Hero equals me. I do wonder what it means to be a hero to my kid. What sort of upbringing values would I impart to my child when I myself can be so unsure of myself at times? How can I teach my kid to be brave in the midst of difficult tribulations when I myself wake up shaking like a leaf during some days? And yet, I am going to be this kid’s hero. My baby will look to me as her saviour, as someone who will always be there for her no matter what.
In today’s age, being a good parent is somewhat a dying virtue. There are times in the office I hear comments such as “you don’t need to worry about your marriage until your kids come along”. I also hear stories about having a helper to do this and that and including taking care of kids. In fact I feel having a helper is considered like a way of life here in this red dot island. But then, how would I teach my kid the value of hardwork and sacrifice and doing something really not fun but still being committed to it if I have a helper? Will it diminish those sacred value bonds that my parents instilled in me when I was a young boy?
Then comes the juggling act – managing work and family and also making time for my baby. Will I still have the energy to come home and play with my toddler after a long’s day work? Or will i be too engrossed giving my best at work when my kid wishes he had the best of me at home? Would career and my ambition take over my family life?
Yes I have alot of questions to be answered and most of them I am not even sure how to answer amidst all the uncertainty. But its certainly all not lost. In fact nothing is lost. Because there is God. God will see me through and see my family through it all. Of that thought, I am quite certain.
