Note: I haven’t abandoned the series of essays (on waiting on the Lord) which I intended to write from the previous post. In fact, I am already halfway through one of the posts and it should be coming out soon. I Will work on them in the coming weeks and get them published (back-dated as usual)
This is the night, where 13 months of hard work comes to a conclusion. This is the night, where 13 months ago I took my first step into venturing into a new potential career path, that is Project Management – to see if I had what it takes to be PM for my project. 13 months ago, as I was wrapping up the scope of the project that I would eventually hand over to another colleague of mine to talk, I wondered whether I could do it instead. I had already transitioned to the Technology business entity and I figured I wouldn’t have much runway left in Change Management as I had achieved all I had to achieve in CM and it was time for me to move on. This new project would be a good potential fit I thought.
I wasn’t sure how the clients would take me as the PM for the project; after all I have no experience in IT systems or IT project delivery. Heck, I wasn’t even IT trained. I wasn’t sure how I would be able to manage the project. But eventually, I got the role (along with the much overdue promotion a year back) and now a year later I am at the cusp of finishing off what I started.
It has been a tough journey, to say the least – from juggling a team of 25 people to being thrust in the driver’s seat to manage a relatively young team of leads has not been easy. There were many times I thought I was the wrong guy for the job; unsure how to manage and resolve conflicts – unsure whether I should stamp my authority as the PM (at the advice of my fellow PMs) or whether I should listen to my leads (at the advice of my Director) and consult with them before making decisions left me flummoxed and alone at times. From handling delays in the project to dealing with emotional staff demands to just trying to comprehend the technicalities of things while trying to add value to the discussion, it has been a weary-worn-out journey for me as I cross the finishing line tonight.
I am trying to make sense of what I have learnt in the past 13 months since I embarked on this journey, and I don’t know if it sounds sad, but I feel i learnt more about my faith and my life (esp the people at home) than I did about my job. Taking on this role, little did I know would mean completely trusting in God and less in myself. Whatever wit I could muster and manage, I attribute it to God. Secondly, despite going thru the crap at work and wondering at times why I wasn’t much appreciated or as popular as my PD with the team (at times it really worked me up as I felt I didn’t matter), I realised that the people who I mattered to the most were at home – the wifey and the little one. These were the ones who silently were cheering me on and were my sources of joy and comfort through their actions of making the home more cheerful and bright, and in turn, giving meaning and purpose to my life.
And so as I come to a close with this maiden project, I realised, while sure I may have gained experience managing teams and building my confidence and also developing a bit of a thick-skin in the process, I realised I had gained more in learning that I CAN TRUST GOD in everything including my work and also the people who are rooting for me and I crave for love the most are not the people at work, but rather the people at home.
What a valuable lesson at the end of the day.
