I have written a couple of times on my thoughts on love on this blog. And as I have matured over the years, so has my views on marriage and love and commitment. This has been further illuminated and demonstrated in the last 2 months as I begin my march towards preparing my marriage. Yes, you read that correctly – Ms Somewhat and I are finally moving to phase where we are now planning for our wedding, having completed a major milestone in our relationship – meeting the parents (which went smoothly without any major hiccups).
And as we have been preparing for the logistical details on our marriage, I have had some time during my commutes to and from work to ponder and reflect on what marriage and love really means to me. And while I may never truly have the wisdom or intellect to fully comprehend the mystery of love, I do believe I am slowly coming to understand bits and pieces of what love is. I started off by realizing that love is a decision and graduating to the realization that love starts with God first, as depicted in my 2 posts which i wrote sometime ago.
Today, again upon the backdrop of my marriage, my views on marriage and love especially has evolved yet again. I remember once attending mass in Canada last year and the homily was on God’s love. It was a homily that struck a chord with me because the priest exhorted that God’s love is biased. It’s not fair and it’s not right. It’s skewed towards us. That was a major revelation for me back then when I first heard it because we often equate love and respect with treating each other fairly and equitably. The priest shared that if God’s love was truly equitable and unbiased, we would all be doomed to hell. As he shared those words, I began to think about love again (he did touch on this point as well, i.e. – human love). If we are to be images and reflections of God’s love, then shouldn’t we love the same way he does? Completely, freely and biasedly.
And I believe that’s what love is. I shared once upon a time on 1 Cor 13, the ever famous passage used in weddings on what love is and I believe if we look at how God loves, the passage comes alive.
Love is indeed not just mere feelings, or a conscious decision or seeking God first to understand what love is. Love demands more. It demands an unconditional yet biased love to your beloved. Once that is understood, and through actions of self denial and self sacrifice, we may then learn the true meaning of love. It’s no longer about you, as what I am slowly humbly realizing as I prepare for marriage. I am irrelevant in terms of my needs and wants. It’s about my family, my wife, my kids and how I need to love them biasedly and unconditionally. It’s about loving my spouse in difficult and challenging moments. It’s about having the humility to ask for forgiveness when I have cause hurt and be gracious in pardoning when I have been hurt.
I guess I have more to learn on this subject as I continue on this journey of life. Being with Ms. Somewhat is certainly opening my eyes to alot of new things and I think if I open my heart, I will be truly able to experience more, especially to really listen to what the Author of Love wishes to tell me about this crazy thing called love.