As I mentioned in my previous post, I wanted to take some time to reflect upon that meditation that was written by Catherine De Heuck Doherty, or better known simply as Catherine Doherty. I was the featured meditation which appeared in the Magnificat publication last monday and it was on Faith, particularly on having faith at dark times when we can’t see ahead and we just need to trust Lord.
The reason the meditation appealed to me so vividly is because as I reflect on my own personal life, I could really relate to what Catherine was writing about. – having faith when you can’t even see the road ahead
There was a time I used to be more dependent on my faith than on my ability, especially in my earlier years when I was a greenhorn. My optimism and my faith and trust in our Lord fueled me to just place my hope in him. I remember the days where I wasn’t as anxious as I am sometimes these days, where I would just spend more time in prayer and adoration and just really place my hope and trust in God.
I realize that over time, I have found it more difficult to do so. I sometimes wonder then is it any wonder when Christ said that the kingdom of God is for those who have the faith of little children ? Perhaps when I look back in my own life, I realized that over time, I have depended more on myself, and less on Him even though I do make time for my daily prayers and visits to the Blessed Sacrament.
Or perhaps, as Catherine mentions in her reflective meditation, perhaps maybe God is challenging me to walk in faith. I find it quite amusing that when I started HaveFaith , the theme for the website was taken from 2 Corinthians 5:7 – We live by faith and not by sight. Perhaps God is challenging me to trust Him again, perhaps, like the meditation beautifully mentions, all this while I have been seeking god (for the most part of my faith journey) through reason, intellect and discourse and study.
Perhaps maybe God wants to take our relationship further by making me trust in Him faithfully and totally.
The question is….do I want him to do so? Am I going to honestly allow him to take control and allow the Potter to once again examine his clay and shape him according to His plans?
While I am abit hesitant….somewhere deep down (I would like to think it’s the Holy Spirit’s groaning inside) I keep hearing this question :
What have you got to lose buddy?
Father into your hands I commend my spirit – Luke 23:46