I’m back
Yeap after my one month long dissapearance I'm finally back! Had some issues with my blog but it's all back to normal! My account actually got hacked (or so I think, or maybe it's just some random unexplainable screwup in the server system) but whatever it is, I'm back and yippidee do it's good to be back alright. Hmm need to find how I can do autobackup (bi weekly) for this blog so that I can restore it whenever it goes down again in the future 
Note : This is a pre-dated post
Keeping the thoughts alive
May was quite a busy month for me. I realize that I didn't blog at all for the whole of last month. As I look back and reflect over the month of May, and attempt to justify my absence, I find that I could only come up with a few "lame" excuses , namely I was just quite tied up with my own life issues and at the same time, I was just too lazy to write anything down. However that is not to say that May was a quite or boring month, in fact, May was quite an eventful period for me. I shall try to sum up the events that happened in the month of May
Work
Work was starting to pick up the pace. The workload was growing and I spent a good portion of my time at work scheduling meetings and discussing process workflows with the clients. I have to admit, even though I have worked for the client organization for almost 3 years now, working with the upstream folks was a welcoming change for me. I found them to be somewhat proactive and their willingness to help was a plus point in my interactions with them. We culminated our work with a workshop to validate our processes and it was going great until the end we got screwed by the project sponsor. Well not so much "we" but more so "me" given that my process flows are actually new (unlike the others who were more involved in mapping the established processes into the new department) I had to approache the senior management team to obtain their conscent as well as they were also involved in the processes. And you know how it's like when you engage SMTs ; the process is dramatically slowed down, and there's really nothing much you can do about it.
In terms of the actual work though, I don't know...I'm finding work to be slightly boring these days, less challenging. I've requested for an overseas assignment and I just hope I get it.
Relationship
The love life is going great. Kate and I are growing stronger in our relationship and as the days pass by, I realize that we're learning more and more about each other. However I find the biggest difference in THIS relationship is that we both are making the effort to build up this relationship, and that our differences are more accepted by each other, rather than becoming an obstacle course for us to manouver.
Still I do believe that much more needs to be done, but I am confident that we are getting there, slowly, day-by-day. We've started to close our daily chat sessions with a short prayer, with me often leading us both into prayer and she coming in to offer up her intentions. I think the relationship is moving in the right direction!
Ministry
May started off with us having our annual LifeCamp. Sherman was awesome as always and I really felt this camp stirred the hearts of our young adults this time around. It was less rar-rar and more spiritual and reflective in nature. I have to admit we didn't plan as "hard" as we did for the previous one, but yet, somehow this camp turned out to be very meaningful for the participants. Sometimes I believe God has His way of turning hearts to him.
Well I guess that's all for now. I have been thinking of some stuff lately to write and reflect about, and perhaps when time permits, I will write down some of these things down. Until then, that's all from me....for now 
Of empty promises and failed men
"Though all may have their faith in you shaken, mine will never be" - St. Peter assuring Jesus when the Christ fortells them of what is about to happen to Him
"...this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times" - Jesus' reply to Peter. (Matthew 26:34)
Today's gospel reading at mass commemorates the triumphal entry of the Christ into Jerusalem and a week later, his passion and death. Although I have listened to the narrative gospel on how Christ was betrayed, suffered and eventually executed for his "deeds" it doesn't fail to leave a sorrowful impression on me on how frail we are as human beings.
The readings reminded me of how I too, at times would praise Jesus when things are looking good and shouting with all my heart "Hosanna in the highest!". And even when I do ask for God to help me in my struggles and problems, like Peter, I too sometimes make promises which I can't keep to the Lord.
The saddest part I guess would be when God does live out to the "other side" of the bargain whereas I don't. Why? Well it's because of sin, and because of my focus to get what I want and use all my bargaining prowess to strike a bargain with God, sometimes once I get what I want, I just conveniently forget what my end of the deal was.
And like Peter, when it comes to my senses ; when I do eventually realise that I had not lived up to my end of the bargain, or that I made a promise to our Lord and I had violated my promise, I too end up weeping and feeling pathetic about myself.
But here in lies the difference between Judas and Peter. While both felt remorsed about their actions, both chose two different resolutions to come to terms with their guilt. One chose repentance and the other chose suicide. One chose God's forgiveness, the other chose to take matters into his own hands. One believed in god, the other doubted God's mercy.
The question therefore isn't so much about our own failed weaknesses or even so much our empty promises. Human beings being flawed creatures will always make mistakes. However, I believe that is where God's strength will make up for it. (2 Cor 12:9). The question is would we allow ourselves to be forgiven by God? And if we do, our we sincere about it? Because presupposing God's grace to me is also a sin. We can't and should not take God's mercy for granted.
It's no doubt tough to be his disciples and to make promises to Him which we can't keep. However, as St. Paul reminds us - "My grace is sufficient for you"
