The playing field has been levelled
Whenever I return back to Penang for a short break, I always have this habit of checking out my school magazine. I would look and re-look at the old school class photos and glance through my peers and yes, I would also glance at a nerdy looking picture of myself.
I would often think of my failures back in school and questions which challenged my tenacity and intelligence would pierce my conscience.
Why didn’t you work hard back then? Why were you always in a lower grade class at compared to your peers? Why didn’t you take academics seriously back in school?
I thought for the longest time I would be destined for mediocrity. It’s not that I didn’t work hard, but I didn’t work hard enough to get the grades. I would often fall short by just a couple of points to getting “promoted” to a better class. It used to frustrate me for the longest time, and there was a point in my life, I thought I would just be resigned to the fact that this was all I could achieve in school. And I felt small compared to the guys who were in the best classes. No way did I ever think that I would ever be as competitive as them.
Fast forward more than a decade now, and I am still looking through those class photos. I turn to look at the peers who were in the 1st class. I smile to myself.
The playing field has now been levelled.
What I mean by this is I no longer feel less adequate than these guys who once dominated the academic arenas in my school. Soon after high school, I am glad I realized that I had the potential in me all along, and I wasted no time in ensuring I apply myself to the fullest in college and university. I applied myself and I got the grades I desired.
Good grades and a high achievement in university meant my transcripts looked good and it led to more doors being opened. I could finally afford to demand and carve out my own career. I had the opportunity to choose which company I desired to join.
Of course, the rest is history.
Just a couple of weeks back, I bumped into my ex-school mates. One of them was a real smart student. He was a “first-class” boy with a renegade attitude. He seemed unfazed to meet me and so was I. To me, perhaps once upon a time people like him used to be the “kings” of the school. They used to have it all – the brains – the athletic abilities – the bright future – as compared to me. I smiled to myself after that unexpected bump. This time around, I didn’t feel the inadequacy I once felt when I compared myself to these guys back in school.
I felt we were equals, if not me being better than them in my own career and life. My exposure abroad gave me a significantly distinctive advantage in broadening my perspectives and building my confidence. I felt I was ready to take on the world, and ever since then, I have always maintained my high-self esteem.
Indeed, the playing field has already been levelled.
When truth is not really ugly
P
erception, like anything else plays an important part in how we make sense of the world. I learnt this during my college years, and this philosophy of mine became more concrete as I matured into adulthood. My mum used to always tell me that people's opinions are like the wind, today they blow east, tomorrow they blow west.
Having said that then, we all know that in order to improve ourselves and our well beings, we need something known as feedback. Of course self-reflection and ruminations are also important mental aspects in helping us grow and mature in our thinking and behavior. Yet, feedback also plays a pertinent part in one's development.
But sometimes, getting feedback...well it's not what everyone wants to proactively seek. Why? Cuz it's probably gonna be bad news and I guess most people can't deal with it at that point in time. To me personally, in my working years I have tried to seek feedback from my superiors from time to time. Not so much that I crave for it, but I feel it's always good to know where I stand, and where I can make improvements.
Does it hurt? Absolutely yes...well at times it does hurt. But sometimes the truth is what we need to hear if we want to improve ourselves. Truth by itself will always hurt, simply because it points to our flaws. And if you think about it, it's a good thing! If truth is skewed (which I believe it is since everyone has their own philosophy of truth), then what's the point of knowing the truth other than just patting ourselves in the back and justifying our "mis-perceived" actions as being "good".
Truth need not always be ugly. With the right frame of mind, and the correct attitude, truth can actually help us grow even further, in a way, truth can "fast-track" our development and maturity. But yes it will be painful, but again remember how I said about perception in the begining? Truth, if we percieve it to be painful will be painful. But if we apply meaning to that pain ; to use that pain to grow, to become a better man, then truth doesn't become as ugly as we think.
Incidentally, Lie to Me is one of my favourite TV shows.
Of Judgement and Mercy
Yesterday at mass I heard a very powerful homily on hudgement and mercy. The priest’s homily was focused on how we tend to “judge” in our daily lives and sometimes by doing this, we get labelled as being “judgemental” or “holier-than-thou” especially in this modern day and age. Society shuns upon people who make such “righteous judgement” on others. Even I myself at many a times have been “accused” of such sentiments by my peers or friends.
For the longest time ever it was a struggle to me. Why a struggle? Because I knew that I wasn’t so much judging about the person rather than the offence or the decision he took. But I could never explain this idea to others because I myself was not fully aware of this thought process.
The priest used the story of Jesus and the adulterar to explain this and I thought it was very poignant. While the pharasies no doubt were right in stoning the woman for the offence she commited, Jesus was able to seperate between individual and the sin. Sure she had a mistake ; she had cheated and it wasn’t like she was “wrongly accused” of doing so. But at the same time while Jesus did admonish her for her sin, he also extended mercy to her by forgiving her and holding no condemnation against her (neither do I condemn you).
That encounter is so prevalent in today’s culture isn’t it? We are told to be loving to the individual, and that if he tell the individual of his/her mistakes, we are being “harsh” or we are being “unfair” or even a “bigot” for that matter. We are accused of being narrow minded and having that “holier than thou” mentality when in actual fact we are just too corward to face facts and be honest with ourselves.
And that’s where mercy and judgement comes in and this is what the Church has always taught throughout history. The Church offers both judgement and mercy provided we are willing to be honest with ourselves and truly ask for repentence and forgiveness. God is not so much interested in punishing us as he is more in restoring us. The judgement is necessary for the purification process to start and without the purification process, how would we ever be better individuals for tomorrow?
So the next time you’re going to pass judgement on someone, remember to always isolate the individual from his/her action. The two are totally different. When you see it from that angle, it will change your perception of things.
