Looking Behind, Moving Forward Part 1


There’s a saying that goes like this.
“We look to the past to learn and reflect from it, we look to the future to anticipate and prepare for it, however we live in the present”.

If anything, 2008 has been a life-defining moment for me. The year began with an application for a management consulting position for a company I’ve heard so much about, and felt it was about time I started moving closer towards my line of field. Then came someone from the past whom I once broke her heart and now was looking for a way to get back together, because I missed her dearly. However it never did materialize, maybe it was for the best after all.

Then came the unsuspecting news that would go on to define 2008. It began as an unusual abdominal pain in Mom’s stomach. My brother, a doctor who kept a close eye on her when she underwent her first operation in 2007 suspected perhaps it could be reoccurrence. Scans, tests and the usual was done, however none of us suspected “The Big C” (as mum used to describe it) would strike again.

Unfortunately for all of us, this was not to be as my mother, whom I have often epitomized as a lioness in the family had succumbed to another cancer; this one much deadlier than the other.  What followed subsequently was a grueling and painful process, both for her and us. Her brother came down to spend time with her, and so did her sister. Being the eldest of the three, they too were shattered to see her in such a pathetic and miserable condition. To my aunt and uncle, she too was their lioness. From chemotherapies, to morphine, to UTI (urinary tract infection), mum battled it day-in-day-out. Time was running out for her, and we all knew it.  No amount of healing hands from the various pastors that ministered to her, to the best medical attention she could get from the hospital would help her recover. She was going to pass away soon.

Finally on the evening of July 19th, she passed away. And of all people. I was the only one there to witness it, along with my brother. The lioness had been slain and laid on the bed, as her cubs watched her in agony and pain.

Probably the most painful moment for me personally came at the funeral mass, when I saw so many people turn up to show their love and respect for her and for the family. That’s when I broke down, in front of friends and family and cried as I was being consoled by some of them. Friends who knew mum for decades and had known me from a little boy. It was then I realized how much of an impact this mighty person made to just not only us, her beloved cubs, but to those around her. It was moving to say the least.

Note : This is a back-logged entry

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