Looking Back, Moving Forward Part 2


This continues from Part 1

In August I had quit my job in Big Blue, accepting the position as management consultant for the company I had applied for in January. In a way it was a welcoming change; picking up the pieces and starting afresh in a new company. I was sad to leave my old company, but I knew it was time for me to move on and do something more relevant an in line of my field.

Nevertheless it was a good ending for me in Big Blue. I had planned on leaving with a high note, and I would like to think that the emails and well wishes I got from my superiors, both from the office and also from the ASEAN headquarters confirmed this intended wish. Many thanked me for my dedication and work for the Network Team, and it was wonderful taking in that feeling of appreciation and recognition.

However in September things were not shaping as well as I thought it would be, work at the new place was different. For the first couple of weeks it was all good ; I was learning the ropes of the new place and reading up as much as I can on the company’s operating principles. However one thing that really caught me off guard was the extensive, or I could say the maniacal use of PowerPoint. I never knew or would have guessed that PowerPoint would be such a crucial element in management consulting. It was an eye opener, a painful one that too as I had to struggle everyday with coming up with PowerPoint slides for my project.

Thankfully though I wasn’t in that project for too long, and by October I was reassigned to another project where I would be a training consultant. The project is still on going and I must admit, I am happy where I am. I love the people I work with and although the job can appear mundane at times, it’s the people in my project that keeps me going.

In December, my uncle and his family from Canada spent Christmas with us. He was unable to attend mum’s funeral in July and that’s why this trip was important to him. Perhaps, like anyone else, he needed closure with Mum. For him, and rightly so, spending time at mum’s grave was the pinnacle moment of his visit. He was very close to her, and seeing him spend more than 2 hours with Mum at the cemetery was enough to justify it.

Just a couple of weeks back as the new year began looming in the corner, I began pondering on how 2008 has been for me and what do I want from 2009.  Earlier today I accidentally stumbled upon a prayer my brother had printed out.

“Why O god, did you have to take Mom away?” He writes in one of those lines in the prayer.

With such childlike innocence I felt that question was asked. I too sometimes want to ask God that, although many times in my prayer life with God, I hardly bring up Mom.  Not because I’m a coldless ungrateful son who doesn’t give shit about anyone else except himself, rather it’s because I feel it’s pointless at times. There are many things I can use to fight against God. I sometimes want to give God a piece of my mind.

Note : This is a back-logged entry

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