James Martin SJ is one of those few people whom I started hearing about in the middle of 2010 when I was recommended to purchase his book, My life with the Saints. It was a marvellous book but I guess what attracted me more about him was his background. From living a corporate life to giving it up to poverty, chastity and obedience – now that would make an interesting story! What I did not know about him back then was that he ACTUALLY DID WRITE a book about it ; chronicling his experiences growing up and entering GE and having thoughts of entering the novitiate. It would be nearly 2 and a half years later before I would actually pick up his book and I completed reading his book on my Kindle Paperwhite (ahem ahem!) today.
I won’t go so much as to review the book ~ there are plenty of reviews on the book and content itself however my entry would focus more how the book actually spoke to me. I think one of the most marvellous aspects of the book was Jim’s honesty and doubts – that’s what made the whole book a real true experience. It was as though I was with him as he narrated through his life, his struggles and his fear. There were also times where I would roll my mental eyes and start thinking – Gee Jim, you didn’t know what the Memorare was? which then made my realize how judgemental and “holier-than-thou” I can sometimes be myself!
And it also made me realize that with God, anything is impossible. Here was this guy who left a very comforting job behind to just go join some calling – and mind you James Martin wasn’t a religious pious person to begin with! Sure he went for sunday school (C.C.D Classes as it’s referred to in the book), he went for Sunday masses ; but he wasn’t your typical Jesuit holy molly type. Like I said he didn’t even know what the Memorare was or what coporals, patens and chalices meant!! But what was really amazing was his perseverance and also the fact that He had really good companions around him. From his novitiate director, to the sisters running the missionary work in Kingston and his close friends supporting him, I really felt that God was looking after him throughout his entire journey. Nevermind he didn’t know how to pray (it was really amusing for me to read how he struggled with prayer and trying to build a relationship with God), he had the heart for God – and although I have to admit I really felt that at times he just wanted to escape the unhappy life he had in GE, through his conversion journey, he found God through his missionary attachments.
And I feel sometimes if God can work such wonders on a person like him, what more for people like me who He has been reaching out to for years and guiding me in His light? I am often reminded of that first conversion experience I had when I was in Canada during my final year as a student, where when I miraculously found my mobile phone on my birthday – I can still hear God’s voice that night as I sat up in my room reminiscing the unfolding of that fateful day – “if I can do this much (i.e. find your phone) for you, what more do you think I can do in your life? – It was this thought, this voice that propelled me 8 years ago to personally seek a relationship with God – to know the God that I worship every week and who has been seeing me all this while.
As I reflect now, upon finishing the book, I came away with a couple of thoughts – First and foremost God calls all men to Himself and when He calls, he provides the means and the strength to see through it – Which reminds me of the saying If God puts you through it He will see you through it
Secondly, prayer is ever so important in one’s journey. It’s okay if you don’t know where you are heading, or what the future is holding for you, don’t give up on praying. And you can always use your life’s experiences as insights and input on prayer – Jim used his experiences in Kingston and upon his completion of his missionary work in Kingston, he was able to gain more insights on himself and the situation and more importantly, he was able to take it to God and offer it in prayer to Him. Likewise even for me, although I may not be in a religious setting, there are many things I can be thankful for. And it’s those things which I need to bring it to the good Lord in my prayer.
And finally, always stay focus in God. Staying focus in God doesn’t mean you negate everything else – it doesn’t mean you cut everything else from life and just stay obsessed with God. You live your life, you still face everyday temptations, but by staying focus on Him, you tend to focus less on yourself, and through His grace, you have the power to overcome temptation and sin. Yes, it’s not avoidance but its overcoming your temptations and just staying the course and keeping your eyes Jesus
In God there is hope and redemption at the end of the day. We just need to turn our focus on Him and trust our deepest struggles, fears and joys to Him.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us,[a] 2 looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith – Hebrews 12:1-2(a)
