Thoughts on sex…revisted (Part 1)
I wrote my first 'public' opinionated piece on pornography here. If you read the comments relating to the article, you would have probably gone with 'What the heck are you thinking man?'
I know this, because those were the same words I used as I critiqued my own work before setting off to write this piece. I'm not going to even dive and talk about that article because, frankly I was obviously naive and immature when I wrote that and I now know better the detrimental effects of porn.
As a growing young man who is deeply rooted (at least most of the time) on his catholic faith, I found that the Church did have an answer to sex and all the elements attached to it. I once attended a conference which talked about sex and the catholich church.Some of you may remember it as I blogged about it sometime back. It was enlightening as I was seeing the church's stance on sex for the first time. No more 'what does this christian contemporary writer' think crap. This was the hard truth about sex from the Pope himself.
Although I blogged about how the conference changed my life, and brought about my 2nd conversion, sad to say, I gave into temptation within weeks after that conference.
My problem I concluded was simply because I did not internalize it, both from heart and mind. The problem with me is that for me to believe something, especially if it revolves around something intangible and personnel, I need both my mind and my heart. If I believe with my mind, I feel the words are dead to me. If I believe with my heart, I feel there is no meaning to what I'm doing (i.e - doing for the sake of doing without reason).
For this reason I found it hard to believe in the Theology of the body, Pope John Paul's answer to the world on human sexuality and marriage. I felt I lacked either the intellectual will to understand it, or somehow I didn't have the grace to internalize it in my heart. Either way it sucked and I didn't care much about it.
Until I discovered the relationship between faith and reasoning. And who again wrote about faith and reason? JP II himself. It is this teaching by the Holy Father that made me believe again in some of the church's teachings...
more on that later.
Note : Yes I do realize that I didnt really talk about sex in this article... but it'll be coming... patience
Attitudes and people
I just came back from my futsal game after a long absence due to my work commitments. It was nice to see my old work colleagues and after futsal we went for dinner.
My friend and ex-colleague was lamenting to me about how the department has just gone from bad to worse. As he spoke, I sat there just listening and reflecting and reminiscing how things were much better off back in the day. I was quickly drawn back to the matter at hand, and I could see that the reason why things have gotten quite back at my former department was not so much that the work has gotten harder. It wasn't also so much to do with the lack of resources, as my friend complained and concluded.
Rather I felt it was the individual itself. Having been a product of my former company, I knew the tacit operating culture and style in which they operated. More than ever, it was often a blamming game - 'witch hunting' as my friend monikered it. Superiors and managers were often out to find the culprit first, slay him and then tell him/her that if he doesn't buck up, then his job will be gone.
As I sat down and pondered on the current management practice of my former management, my heart sank. I could really feel for my ex-colleagues in som ways. It wasn't that they were incompetent. Rather it was simply that their superiors (who were once my own superiors) lacked people management skills.
It's really disheartening to see unqualified people to hold positions which they're not suited for. What's even more disheartening, to see them get away with it and allow the lower rung employees to face the music. Now I'm sure the superiors don't easily get away with it scott-free. But still, as management who are suppose to manage peope , shouldn't they do more?
Managing people is more than just coordinating tasks and activities and ensuring that the job gets done. Part of ensuring the job gets done involves the human touch, and by that I don't mean a pat on the shoulder reprimanding the employee that if he doesn't peirform, he will lose his job. By human touch, I mean more on building the relationship and motivating the front line officers. I mean, spending less time on worrying about work, and more time on understanding the dysfunctions that are currently present.
Alas, I guess that's why everyone thinks that these sorta things are too 'softy' and 'fluffy', but I've come to observe that part of the human performance is depnendent on the person's attitude and feelings.
Properly manage that, and you can be sure that things will definitely improve. But then again, when will people wake up and realize that these' fluffy' issues matter a great deal in team performance?
And So I Come Back
It’s been an awfully long time since I’ve really just blogged. Most of my previous entries were quick entries. You could tell it was lacking something…perhaps these last entries of mine were sans reflections?
Indeed my writings for this month has been sans reflection. I haven’t really had a decent time to sit down and blog. Even right now as I am preparing to churn out this piece of entry, I’m doing it ‘offline’, as in I’m not typing it on my blog as it’s so freaking slow to even open up my own page.
It’s frustrating when you really have the urge to blog and just as you want to pour your hearts contents and crystallize them into words, your freaking blog won’t just load up, no matter how many times you hit F5 (the refresh button).
Anyway beggers can’t be choosers, hence better for me to pen down my thoughts on Word then just conveniently shut down my laptop. Yes I do feel slightly guilty when I don’t blog after a long lapse. I do realize the unauthorized ‘blogging truths’ or the ‘blogging principles’ which states that one should blog when one feels the need to do so.
Well I feel the need to do so every once in a while, but work commitments and other ‘life’ commitments permit me sometimes from doing so. I guess it’s alright to close one eye and just take it easy once in a while, but let me just say, like all other things; when not done for a long time, it becomes hard to get back to the routine, the same can be safely said about blogging, at least from my humble perspective.
And that’s why in some ways, it’s important to get the ‘blogging engine’ inside of me going and churning out more entries.
Anyway this entry is just to pretty much welcome me back (yes very vain I know!) from my absence of blogging. I’m just glad the 1st part of my project deliverables are over, of course there’s a 2nd , which is thankfully the last part of my project deliverables coming up soon, but alas I’m trying not to think too much about it.
There’s a book I’m reading now; it’s quite a popular book written by Dale Carnegie, and no it’s not How to Win friends & Influence People (although I must say that’s one superb book!) ; the book has to do with how to worry less and live more and it’s quite a practical book. It has about 9 principles, and I think the 1st principle is quite apt for this moment: Live in Day-tight Compartments.
What this simply means is to live today and today only and not worry about tomorrow or yesterday. Like how large oceanliners have compartments in its hull where with a touch of button the captain can shut off compartments completely, likewise we should also learn to shut off our yesterdays and tomorrows. Not to say we shouldn’t reflect on them; in fact it’s good to always draw from yesterday’s lessons to prepare a better tomorrow, but there’s a difference when it comes to getting all worked up and worrying uselessly about yesterdays past and tomorrow’s future.
I will close this entry with a quote from the chapter : Our main business is not to see clearly what lies dimly at a distance, rather to do what clearly lies at hand
Live your live to the fullest, but at one day and one step at a time!
P/S – It felt good to blog the last bit of this entry, truly felt like myself again 
