Revisiting Discernment
About a year ago I gave a talk on discerning God's will to a group of young Catholic adults. The gist of my talk had to do with discerning between two goods, and trying to understand what God's choice is for us. I spoke about how discernment first involves getting on the same wavelength with God, first ensuring that one's prayer life has to be in place. I concluded my talk by saying that through prayer, God will show you the way, that the path will be laid before you, and you will just have that peace of mind when you make that walk.
A year now later, I am starting to think otherwise on discernment. Prayer is still important, and that constant communication with God is impetus when trying to discern God's will. But having gone through some of life's experience this past year, I have found that discernment works differently for everyone. I have often thought that there is one-sure-fixed way for all catholics to discern. This "cookie-cutter" approach I believe is not the way at all.
I am starting to believe that perhaps discernment is unique to every person. The way God talks to his children is different. It's personal and individual. Just as how we often hear (and accept) that everyone has their own way of approaching God and building that relationship with Him, likewise I think it's the same when it comes to discernment. What God wants for me, and also the WAY he wants me to get it may be different from yours. Perhaps your journey of faith and realization is different from others, and that's okay.
To me, I have realized that it's not so much what God wants of me. I have come to the realization that whichever path I choose and whatever direction I take (so long that it's discerning between two goods), I know that God will be there for me. That if I choose to take path B over path A, God is already a 100 steps down path B ensuring that I still have enough grace to undertake the trials that may come in path B.
Now please remember that this is MY journey. I have shared this discernment view of mine with my friends and my siblings and I have been extremely careful to insert my caveat, that is this is how God works in me. It might not work for you and it should not work for you, because God's discerning will for you will be different. Perhaps God knows that if you had to choose between path A and B, and if you chose path B, you will somehow forget God, or you will abandon God or something like that might happen and God just can't afford to lose you and therefore He will do anything to prevent that from happening.
In my life, it has been different. Although I have gotten most of what I have often prayed for, I believe it's because I have always felt that no matter what decisions I make in life, I have that constant assurance of God's love for me (this is something that I have built over the years, my faith was not built overnight, rather it was through life's experiences I have noticed this).
Discerning is definitely a long and often boring process. Just when you think you've figured things out, life shows you otherwise. But the important thing to share here is that there is no cookie-cutter approach to discerning and no.2 , you need to find how God works in you and that takes
a) Prayer
b) Reflection
c) Acceptance
I mentioned Acceptance as one of the elements required, and that is closely tied with my last point : trust. To trust our Lord is also key in discernment. To know that He knows what's best for you is impetus in living the Christian life and growing in the Christian faith. And again, it ties back to prayer.
Still around
It's been almost a month since I last blogged about....well since I last blogged...period. Partly this is due to the recent changes this blog went through as I recently changed my webhosting company from Lunarpages to Webhostingpad. I decided that as part of the change I will also change the blog appearance...new wine for new wineskin mentality you could say 
Anyway as I was changing the theme I accidentally made some errors with the permission setting for the directory so it was a major screw-up. I mean the site was still there, it was just that I could not log in to my admin page, thus I could not post!
And you know what the irony was? I actually had some ideas I wanted to scribble down but cuz the blog was down I couldn't do so. Funny eh, how it's only when you've lost something you realize how much you want it back!
Well apart from the blog stuff, I have also been quite busy with my work, and just two weeks ago I was down in Singapore as well. So yeah life has been quite busy for me over the past few weeks. Nevertheless it's good to be back blogging after a short unexpected hiatus and I hope to blog more in the coming days/weeks.
Some thoughts on faith
As I mentioned in my previous post, I wanted to take some time to reflect upon that meditation that was written by Catherine De Heuck Doherty, or better known simply as Catherine Doherty. I was the featured meditation which appeared in the Magnificat publication last monday and it was on Faith, particularly on having faith at dark times when we can't see ahead and we just need to trust Lord.
The reason the meditation appealed to me so vividly is because as I reflect on my own personal life, I could really relate to what Catherine was writing about. - having faith when you can't even see the road ahead
There was a time I used to be more dependent on my faith than on my ability, especially in my earlier years when I was a greenhorn. My optimism and my faith and trust in our Lord fueled me to just place my hope in him. I remember the days where I wasn't as anxious as I am sometimes these days, where I would just spend more time in prayer and adoration and just really place my hope and trust in God.
I realize that over time, I have found it more difficult to do so. I sometimes wonder then is it any wonder when Christ said that the kingdom of God is for those who have the faith of little children ? Perhaps when I look back in my own life, I realized that over time, I have depended more on myself, and less on Him even though I do make time for my daily prayers and visits to the Blessed Sacrament.
Or perhaps, as Catherine mentions in her reflective meditation, perhaps maybe God is challenging me to walk in faith. I find it quite amusing that when I started HaveFaith , the theme for the website was taken from 2 Corinthians 5:7 - We live by faith and not by sight. Perhaps God is challenging me to trust Him again, perhaps, like the meditation beautifully mentions, all this while I have been seeking god (for the most part of my faith journey) through reason, intellect and discourse and study.
Perhaps maybe God wants to take our relationship further by making me trust in Him faithfully and totally.
The question is....do I want him to do so? Am I going to honestly allow him to take control and allow the Potter to once again examine his clay and shape him according to His plans?
While I am abit hesitant....somewhere deep down (I would like to think it's the Holy Spirit's groaning inside) I keep hearing this question :
What have you got to lose buddy?
Father into your hands I commend my spirit - Luke 23:46
